Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose. Evan Esar
Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there. John Wooden
I thought it was impossible too before I did it. Lance Armstrong
There is something that is much more scarce, something finer far, something rarer than ability. It is the ability to recognize ability. Elbert Hubbard
Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right. Henry Ford
When one must, one can.
A great part of courage is the courage of having done the thing before. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Courage is very important. Like a muscle, it is strengthened by use. Ruth Gordon
Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work. Rita Mae Brown
I am by heritage a Jew, by citizenship a Swiss, and by makeup a human being, and only a human being, without any special attachment to any state or national entity whatsoever. Albert Einstein
If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor. Albert Einstein
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Bill Cosby
Don't be so humble - you are not that great. Golda Meir
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. Albert Einstein
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is. Yogi Berra
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts. Albert Einstein
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. Thomas Jefferson
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems. Rene Descartes
Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. Thomas Henry Huxley
He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'. Friedrich Nietzsche
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Thomas Alva Edison
We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. Albert Einstein
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it. Gilbert Keith Chesterton
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down. Jimmy Durante
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. Albert Einstein
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. Antoine de Saint Exupery
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. Xenocrates
If A is success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut. Albert Einstein
You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. Olin Miller
You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance. Ray Bradbury
Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but, unlike charity, it should end there. Clare Booth Luce
The things we know best are the things we haven't been taught. Marquis de Vauvenargues
It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea. Robert Anton Wilson
The best way to predict the future is to invent it. Alan Kay
It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem. Malcolm Forbes
We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. Anais Nin
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. Anthony Burgess
If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done. Ludwig Wittgenstein
Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see. Arthur Schopenhauer
Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others. Jonathan Winters
We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems. John W. Gardner
Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness. Robertson Davies
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. Samuel Johnson
There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know. Ambrose Bierce
Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence. Robert Frost
The average person thinks he isn't. Father Larry Lorenzoni
You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war. Albert Einstein
When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about. Albert Einstein
A man thinks that by mouthing hard words he understands hard things. Herman Melville
Many would be cowards if they had courage enough. Thomas Fuller
I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him. Galileo Galilei
The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason. John Cage
It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated. Alec Bourne
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. Albert Einstein
We can have facts without thinking but we cannot have thinking without facts. John Dewey
I shall never be ashamed of citing a bad author if the line is good. Seneca
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. Saki
Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it. George Orwell
It may seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first. Miyamoto Musashi
When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'. Sidney J. Harris
Don't be sweet, lest you be eaten up; don't be bitter, lest you be spewed out. Jewish Proverb
I'm very pleased with each advancing year. It stems back to when I was forty. I was a bit upset about reaching that milestone, but an older friend consoled me. 'Don't complain about growing old - many, many people do not have that privilege. Earl Warren
We are generally the better persuaded by the reasons we discover ourselves than by those given to us by others. Blaise Pascal
The average man, who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which will last forever. Anatole France
The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him. Henry Stimson
That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong. William J. H. Boetcker
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. Abraham Maslow
God help those who do not help themselves. Wilson Mizner
The reverse side also has a reverse side. Japanese Proverb
When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong. Arthur C. Clarke
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. Charles Wadsworth
We think in generalities, but we live in detail. Alfred North Whitehead
An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it. Jef Mallett
A fine quotation is a diamond on the finger of a man of wit, and a pebble in the hand of a fool. Joseph Roux
Witty Quotes / Funny Quotes
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. Albert Einstein
Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence.
Many a man who falls in love with a dimple make the mistake of marrying the whole girl. Evan Esar
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. Paul Erdos
If you are going through hell, keep going. Sir Winston Churchill
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. Frank Lloyd Wright
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. Oscar Wilde
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault. Henry Kissinger
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. Maryon Pearson
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. Joey Adams
My favorite animal is steak. Fran Lebowitz.
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. Fran Lebowitz.
An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. Simon Cameron
The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed. CS Lewis
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke
No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather. Michael Pritchard
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein
Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born. Ronald Reagan
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
There are three sides of an arguement -- your side, my side and the right side.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
In God we trust; all others must pay cash.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
Nothing shocks me, I'm a scientist. Harrison Ford
It's never just a game when you're winning. George Carlin
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Henny Youngman
The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised. George F. Will
Never believe anything until it has been officially denied. Claud Cockburn
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. Benjamin Franklin
Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge's chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view. Lillian Hellman
Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man. Leon Trotsky
Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary. Robert Louis Stevenson
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. Dave Barry
Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking. Clement Atlee
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive. Samuel Goldwyn
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. Cindy Gardner
I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not. Fran Lebowitz
Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar. Edward R. Murrow
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. Abraham Lincoln
There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say. Cyril Connolly
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. Mae West
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. Rodney Dangerfield
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. Dudley Moore
A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor. Ring Lardner
A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat. Katharine Whitehorn
Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. Abraham Lincoln
You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat. Albert Einstein
Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions. Evan Esar
Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money. Joey Bishop
No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one. Elbert Hubbard
Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. Fred Allen
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. Jackie Mason
But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. Carl Sagan
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you. Don Marquis
Pay no attention to what the critics say... Remember, a statue has never been set up in honor of a critic! Jean Sibelius
Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards. Fred Hoyle
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. Groucho Marx
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman
I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't. Jules Renard
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. Mark Twain
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic. Doris Egan
A diplomat... is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. Caskie Stinnett
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. John Kenneth Galbraith
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. Jack Benny
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. Bob Hope
It is the wretchedness of being rich that you have to live with rich people. Logan Pearsall Smith
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there. George Burns
Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. Peter Drucker
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this. Emo Phillips
But what is the difference between literature and journalism?/ ...Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all. Oscar Wilde
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. George Orwell
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. Dorothy Parker
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. Sam Levenson
Computer Related Quotes
Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vaccuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons. Popular Mechanics, March 1949
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
640K ought to be enough for anybody. Bill Gates in 1981
I have travelled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processings is a fad that won't last out the year. The editor in charge of business books for Prentice-Hall, 1957
But what...is it good for? Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip
Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. Jurassic Park, that is. Larry Wall, creater of the Perl language
For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless. And then it occured to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match. Bill Bryson
If java had true garbage collection, most progras would delete themselves upon execution. Robert Sewell
The only people who have anything to fear from free software are those whose products are worth even less. David Emery
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. Edsger Dijkstra
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. Edsgar Dijkstra
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. Bjarne Stroustrup
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Rick Cook
Few companies that installed computers to reduce the employment of clerks have realized their expectations.... They now need more, and more expensive clerks even though they call them "operators" or "programmers". Peter F. Drucker
The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.
The more I C, the less I see.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to, and seldom what you want it to.
Artificial Intelligence: The art of making real computers act like the ones in movies.
There are two ways to construct a software design. Make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies; or make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.
Bad Command or File Name. Good try, though.
Hit any user to continue.
The ultimate metric that I would like to propose for user friendliness is quite simple: if this system was a person, how long would it take before you punched it in the nose? Tom Carey
The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before. Bill Gates
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. Michael Sinz
Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. Martin Golding
Everyone knows that debugging is twice as hard as writing a program in the first place. So if you are as clever as you can be when you write it, how will you ever debug it? Brian Kernighan
Sometimes it pays to stay in bed in Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code. Dan Salomon
Another effective technique is to explain your code to someone else. This will often cause you to explain the bug to yourself. Sometimes it takes no more than a few sentences, followed by an embarrassed "Never mind, I see what's wrong. Sorry to bother you." This works remarkably well; you can even use non-programmers as listeners. One university computer center kept a teddy bear near the help desk. Students with mysterious bugs were required to explain them to the bear before they could speak to a human counselor. Brian Kernighan and Rob Pike, about debugging
A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. Doug Linder
To err is human... to really foul up requires the root password.
If brute force doesn't solve your problems, then you aren't using enough.
Unix is user-friendly. It's just very selective about who its friends are.
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand. Martin Fowler
Writing the first 90 percent of a computer program takes 90 percent of the time. The remaining ten percent also takes 90 percent of the time and the final touches also take 90 percent of the time. N.J. Rubenking
If you cannot grok the overall structure of a program while taking a shower, e.g., with no external memory aids, you are not ready to code it. Richard Pattis
SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it.
Evolution is God's way of issuing upgrades.
The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back.
It's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.
It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter. Nathaniel S. Borenstein
We should forget about small efficiencies, say about 97% of the time: premature optimization is the root of all evil. C.A.R. Hoare, quoted by Donald Knuth
Programs for sale: fast, reliable, cheap - choose two.
Ready, fire, aim: the fast approach to software development. Ready, aim, aim, aim, aim: the slow approach to software development.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration. Stan Kelly-Bootle
The best performance improvement is the transition from the nonworking state to the working state. J. Osterhout
The only way for errors to occur in a program is by being put there by the author. No other mechanisms are known. Programs can't acquire bugs by sitting around with other buggy programs. Harlan Mills
When a programming language is created that allows programmers to program in simple English, it will be discovered that programmers cannot speak English.
When debugging, novices insert corrective code; experts remove defective code. Richard Pattis
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer. Rita Mae Brown
The question of whether computers can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim. Edsger W. Dijkstra
Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd be out of a job. Mosher's Law of Software Engineering
Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months might as well have been written by someone else. Eagleson's Law
Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight. Bill Gates
There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always complain about and those nobody uses. Bjarne Stroustrup
People always fear change. People feared electricity when it was invented, didn't they? People feared coal, they feared gas-powered engines. There will always be ignorance, and ignorance leads to fear. But with time, people will come to accept their silicon masters. Bill Gates
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. Bill Gates
Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest. Isaac Asimov
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973)
I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image. Stephen Hawking
Yes, we have a dress code. You have to dress. Scott McNealy, co-founder of Sun Microsystems
The problem of viruses is temporary and will be solved in two years. John McAfee, founder of the McAfee computer security, in 1988